We're Just Two Men As God Had Made Us
by sixbucksandadrpepper
Summary: frerard / My Chemical Romance fic. Things are more than fine between Frank and Gerard, until Gerard's health starts to deteriorate. The real meaning of The Black Parade, only Gerard knows.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ****Hey guys. This is my first attempt at a fic, so bear with me. I'm awful at starting stories, but it gets better, I promise. I have the whole thing planned out perfectly in my head, no I just have to put it in words. It would mean a lot if you could review. I appreciate it ^_^**

"Hey, Frank. Toss me my makeup bag, yeah?"

I turned onto my side to grab Gerard's bag that was lying next to me on our hotel bed. I swiped it off the bed to Gerard, who was sitting cross-legged on the ground, unpacking.

"Thank you, babe," he smiled at me, showing the tips of his teeth. I returned his smile and leaned back. I still could hardly believe that this beautiful man was mine. Sure, it had been a couple of months now, but it was still surreal. As I watched Gerard unpack, I let my mind slip away, thinking of how he and I had come to be….

I had been walking home from a corner market in San Francisco, after picking up coffee for Gerard and me. I remember the excitement I had felt, knowing that this was our first real headlining tour, and knowing that I was sharing my hotel room with Gerard for the first time. At this point he had no idea of my feelings for him. And I wasn't planning on letting him know any time soon (or ever).

I hadn't been gone more than an hour, if that. I couldn't wait to get home to spend more time with Gerard. But as I walked down the narrow hallway to our room, an odd feeling of dread came over me. It was indefinable, but I felt the sudden need to get inside. I fumbled with the key card and shoved my way inside.

There was an overwhelming smell of alcohol that hit me as I stepped through the doorway. Coughing, I shut the door and flipped on the light.

"Gerard?" He was nowhere to be seen. I peered around the dimly lit room. "Gee?"

I then noticed one of his combat boots poking out from behind the bed, completely still. I was stunned, and could barely move. I took a deep breath and forced myself to step toward Gerard. In time, his whole body came into view.

Gerard had presumably passed out (obviously from the amount of alcohol he had consumed), and was now lying in a heap on the ground near the bed. His stringy black hair was in tangles, his eyes closed, and his mouth was slightly agape. The black eyeliner he always had on was smudged down almost to his cheekbones. In his left hand, and empty bottle rested. I took a little comfort in the fact that his chest rose and fell with normal precision. I bent down and gently plucked the bottle from his grip. Setting it on a nearby table, I took in the other sights of the room and felt my heart drop. Lying askew around the room were many other various bottles of alcohol, all empty or with a few mouthfuls left. I felt tears pricking the back of my eyes. I had no idea that Gerard obviously had such an addiction. I felt awful, imagining him getting drunk off his ass every night he had a chance. But he had known that I would be returning, so he must have wanted me to find him, right? Did he…

This was all too much for my brain. My head was beginning to ache. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. But I needed to keep myself together.

I wandered back to Gerard and quietly slid down the bedside to sit beside him. After a moment's hesitation, I carefully pulled his top half into my lap and cradled his head in the crook of my elbow. I stroked the raven black hair off his face and ran my thumb underneath his eyes to wipe away the eyeliner. As I looked at him, my heart filled with even more love for him. Seeing him at his weakest seemed to trigger my emotions even more.

"Gerard Way, what are you doing to yourself? Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to see you like this? Do you have any idea how much I love you?" I whispered to him. Gerard murmured unconsciously and rolled into my chest, snoring softly. I sighed and shut my eyes. I was going to have to talk to him about this tomorrow…

Sunlight poured into the hotel room and I blinked sleepily. All of the events of the night before came rushing back. I looked down in horror to see that Gerard was no longer lying there. Shit. That means he had woken up to me holding him in my arms. I scrambled to my feet and saw Gerard sitting with his back to me at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette. Hearing the sound of me standing up, he turned around and smiled weakly.

"Frankie," he said softly. "I want to talk to you."

I gulped and stepped towards the table where he sat and collapsed into a chair nearby. "So talk," I choked.

"Okay. I'm going to get straight to the point. I know you found me last night, that much is obvious." He paused to take a drag on his cigarette. "I knew you would. That was my plan, I suppose. See, I've been doing this shit for a while. I was getting to the point where I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew I needed help, but I didn't know what to do. I knew that you were the only person I could trust fully. And I knew that you wouldn't judge me for my problems. And Frankie, I um…" He raised the hazel orbs that he had for eyes to mine. "Truth is, Frankie… I love you. I've always loved you, and I can't picture myself loving anyone else. I just pray that you feel anywhere close to the same."

I couldn't believe my ears. I had to be dreaming. This Gerard was so different from the one I was used to: that Gerard was always so strong, so completely in control. This just made me love him even more.

Instead of responding, I simply leaned forward and pressed my lips down onto his. I felt him smile into the kiss. He still tasted faintly of alcohol, but at this point I didn't give a toss. All I cared about was the fact that I was finally kissing Gerard. Everything else that before had seemed important now slipped away.

After a minute, Gerard placed his hand on my chest and gently drew away.

"Frankie," he breathed, his face still inches away from mine. "Do you love me too? I mean, if you don't, I'll just go…"

It almost looked as if he was prepared to get up, unsure of my answer. I placed my hands on either side of his face.

"Gerard Arthur Way. I want you to listen, and listen close. I love you very much. I cannot even believe that you feel the same. I can't believe this isn't a dream." Throughout my mini speech, Gerard's eyes had filled with tears that made their hazel color shine even brighter. He bent his head forward and collapsed into my arms. Even though he was bigger than me, I pulled him in closer. We sat in this embrace for what seemed like forever. It was pure bliss…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My reverie was interrupted as I felt a movement on the bed next to me. I blinked, disoriented. Where was I? Oh yes. Hotel, with Gerard. Gerard, who was now lying next to me, his arms wrapped around my waist. He leaned in close to my neck.

"What were you thinking about, babe? Hm?" he whispered into my ear. His warm breath tickled and the tiny hairs on my neck stood up on end. I shivered.

"Frankie?" Gerard tugged on my shoulder to roll me over so that I was facing him. He gave me a look of concern and touched his fingertips to my cheek. When he pulled them away, they came back wet. Gerard looked puzzled for a moment. "Were you crying?" I frowned. I certainly didn't remember crying… but I guess I had been. Weird.

"I suppose I was. And I was just thinking about how we, you know, started dating, and all that you've been through. It makes me sad to think about how you used to drink." I had to bite my lip to keep the ever present tears in their place.

"Aww, Frankie." Gerard pulled me in closer to him and hugged me tight. "Don't worry about such things. That's all over and done with."

"But you still smoke… a lot." That was another thing that bothered me. I knew that it was good he'd given up alcohol, but his nicotine addiction could be just as deadly. Whenever I talked to Gee about it, he'd brush it off and tell me that coffee and cigarettes are a recovering alcoholic's best friend. I would always tell him that I didn't have a problem with coffee.

Gerard sighed and took my face in his hands. "I know you don't like me smoking, but I can't be perfect, alright? I try for you, I really do, but there are only so many things I can give up. And at this point, cigarettes are not one of those things."

"Will they ever be?"

"I dunno, Frankie. I know how much you want me to stop. But don't worry. Something so simple as smoking can't kill me. I'm too strong for that." He said this so persuasively that I was tempted to believe him. But I knew better. I also knew better than to argue with Gerard. He was just as stubborn as I was, if not more so. But it still bothered me.

"But Gee, don't you worry about what will happen if you keep smoking?" I asked.

He laughed. "Frank, I'm having too good a time today to be worrying about tomorrow. Now shut up and kiss me, you animal." With that, he placed his chapped lips on mine. Begrudgingly, I returned the kiss. By this time, I'd gotten used to his distinct taste of smoke and coffee. Gerard's hands travelled down my sides, and began to undo my belt buckle. I wanted this, but we had a show tonight. And we were needed for sound check in just a little while.

"Gerard, stop. I want to, but it's time to go," I mumbled guiltily.

"Give me just a little bit of time. Then we can leave, I promise." He had my pants down to my ankles and was working on his own. I couldn't resist.

"Oh alright. Just because it's you."

Gerard grinned and ripped his shirt over his head. "And just because it's you, that's the only reason I'm doing this at all."

What seemed like mere minutes later, Gerard and I pulled into the back lot of our New York venue. I was driving, and Gerard was kicked back in the passenger seat, a cigarette gangling from his fingertips. Although I hated his smoking, I couldn't possibly hold a grudge against him. I mean, I loved the man, for chrissake. Noticing that we had arrived, Gerard turned toward me, a devilish grin on his face.

"Seeing that it's our last show of the tour tonight, I have a surprise for you. I hope you like it. Of course, you'll get it later," he smirked.

"I'm not sure if I want any surprises. You remember what happened last time you 'surprised' me," I said skeptically.

"Hush. You'll want this surprise," he replied, and leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "Now let's get in there before the others suspect anything." At that, he pushed the car door open and started across the parking lot. I watched him go. I hated that we couldn't be public about our relationship. Gerard and I had discussed it, and decided it was for the best not to tell anyone, not even the boys. I had been okay with that at the time, because I knew that Gerard would get slammed for it, since he was "the head" of our band. But the longer time went by, the more I just wanted to simply hold his hand in public without being ridiculed. If regular couples could do it, why couldn't we? Whatever. There wasn't anything I could do right now, so I might as well go inside. I stepped from the car and hurried after Gerard.

"How the fuck you doing, New York!" Gerard's voice rang out loud and clear through the packed venue. He was greeted by the deafening screams of many fans that had gathered to watch us perform. From where I stood on the right side of the stage, I could see the enormous grin on Gee's face. I could tell how happy it made him to do this. And it made me smile to see him so happy. Gerard turned and winked at me as we struck the first chords of "You Know What They Do to Guys like Us in Prison."

"In the middle of a gunfight, in the center of a restaurant. They say 'come with your arms raised high'. Well, they're never gonna get me…"

I let everything else slip from my senses and I lost myself in the music. The pounding bass pulsed through me, and I ripped through my power chords.

"… Like a bullet through a flock of doves, to wage this war against your faith in me. Your life will never be the same. On your mother's eyes…"

I shut my eyes and bent my head forward, letting my pick glide freely over the strings.

"… Say a prayer, say a prayer. Now, but I can't. And I don't know how we're just two men as God had made us. Well, I can't. Well, I can't. Too much too late, or just not enough of this pain in my heart for dying wish. I'll kiss your lips again. They all cheat at cards and the checkers are lost. My cellmate's a killer. They make me do pushups in drag…"

Gerard's haunting voice filled my ears, and I relished in the sound.

"… But nobody cares if you're losing yourself. Am I losing myself? And well I'll miss my mom. Will they give me the chair? Or lethal injection? Or a swing from a rope if you dare. Oh, nobody knows all the trouble I seen…"

I opened my eyes to see Gerard slinking across the stage towards me. I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. He tossed his black hair back as he began singing the next phrase. It was all I could do to keep my fingers playing a steady rhythm on my guitar. He was just oh-so distracting, especially when he came right up to me like this.

"…We're just two men as God had made us…"

As he growled the chorus lyrics, he was so close to me that I could feel his warm breath and smell the cigarette smoke on him. Below us, the crowd was already going off the wall. Gerard finished off the song standing right next to me, literally singing to me. After releasing the last note, he turned and pranced off across the stage.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The rest of our show went on as normal, with Gerard belting out the lyrics and driving the crowd insane. Near the end, we all hurried off stage to prepare for our encore of 'I'm Not Okay" and "Helena". Gerard was elusive as soon as we stepped backstage, and I caught a glimpse of him shoving something in his pocket. _What the hell,_ I wondered. I didn't have much chance to think though, because Gee hurried over to us all with an announcement.

"Okay Ray. After finishing 'Helena', I want you to go straight into 'Romance', yeah?" Gerard looked at Ray Toro, our lead guitarist, expectantly. Ray looked puzzled, but agreed.

"Good. Now let's get out there and finish this thing!"

I loved Gerard, but sometimes he was extremely hard to follow. He was, needless to say, eccentric.

The crowd screamed as we stepped back on stage. I watched as a select few started a pitiful mosh pit as we began "I'm Not Okay." It was quite amusing.

"Well, if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say…" Gerard stood on the very edge of the stage, leaning nearly into the mass throng of people. I snuck up behind him and pulled him back, kissing him roughly on the cheek. For some reason, this drove the crowd mad and the noise was deafening. Gerard grinned at me and continued to finish the rest of the song, and then began "Helena".

"SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT!" The last line of "Helena" drew a massive cheer from the group of teenagers dressed in black and red. At Gerard's cue, Ray carefully picked the notes of "Romance", one of our instrumentals. The crowd hushed and stood silently, anticipation buzzing through them. All this time, Gerard had been standing in the middle of the stage, head down, and one hand holding up the mic in the air. I had no idea what he was doing, but a small part of me thought that maybe this had something to do with Gee's "surprise".

As the last notes of "Romance" were being played, Gerard slowly turned and began walking towards me. My heart, for some reason, was slamming against my chest.

"Tonight," Gerard said breathlessly into the microphone, "is very special, for a couple of reasons. For one, it's our last show of the tour and I want to thank you all for sharing tonight with us. But second, I also have an announcement to make, as well as something I need to do. I'm doing it here and now, because I thought why not? Now," he paused, draping an arm around my shoulders. "No one else knows about this yet, and I am proud to inform you that Frankie here and I are very much in love."

I gasped. The crowd cheered as gee kissed my cheek. I couldn't believe he had just come out and said it, without bothering to worry about what anyone had to say. Oh god. I couldn't bear to look at any of our band mates. I couldn't…

"And," Gerard began again. What else was he going to say? What else…? "I've been wanting to something like what I'm about to do for a long time." With that, he turned towards me and started fishing around in his pocket. I watched in amazement as he retracted a shiny silver band and slowly dropped to one knee. Oh. My. God. Just like we were an ordinary couple.

"Frank Anthony Iero," he said, looking up at me with those big hazel eyes. "I love you so much. Will you-" his voice seemed to crack with emotion. "Will you marry me?"

The whole audience seemed to be holding their breath, waiting for my answer. My mouth dropped open and tears filled my eyes. I grabbed gee's hands and pulled him to his feet. "Yes," I squeaked. The crowd erupted, and I took Gerard's face in my hands and kissed him, full force. I felt his trembling lips smile into mine. As we broke apart, he pulled on my left hand and slid the band over my ring finger. It fit perfectly. After giving my hand a tight squeeze, Gerard laced his fingers through mine, holding my hand. He turned back to the crowd.

"Thank you, New York!"

We exited the stage to the sound of still cheering fans. As we stepped back stage, Gerard and I were immediately surrounded by the boys. Mikey, Gee's younger brother, was the first to step forward.

"You have two minutes. Explain," he said, giving Gerard a menacing look. Gee just laughed at him.

"Oh, come off it Mikey! Lighten up. It's time to celebrate!"

After you explain to me how the actual fuck this happened. I didn't even know you were, you know, gay!" Mikey's face was beginning to resemble something of a tomato. It was comical.

Gerard sighed dramatically. "I don't really feel like relaying all the info from the past few months of our relationship to you. It's not necessary. All you need to know is that we love each other, and we're getting married. Now let's party."

"You'll have to go to Canada," Mikey pointed out.

"Mikey, shut the fuck up and listen to your brother for once. He's right. It's time to celebrate," Ray cut in, grabbing hold of Mikey's shirt.

"But-"

"SHUT UP!" we all chorused, making the younger Way grin sheepishly.

"Okay. Fine. Let's go. I'm happy for you two, really."

Ray laughed and started off, with Bob and Mikey in tow. "We'll see you back at the hotel, lovebirds."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Well that went well," Gerard commented a few minutes later as we were heading to the car, hand in hand. I looked up at him. I was still in shock about what had happened.

"I think it did," I replied. "Gerard?"

"Mm?"

"Why did you do that?"

He stopped and turned to me, dropping his cigarette butt on the ground. He snuffed out the glowing tip with the toe of his boot. "Why did I do that? I dunno, maybe just because I love you and I want to be with you forever." He peered at me from under his long feminine lashes. "Are you upset I did it that way?"

I shook my head quickly. I didn't want him to think I was unhappy. "No, not at all! I just couldn't believe you did that."

Gerard grinned slyly. "Surprised you, huh? It was sort of a last minute thing. I knew I wanted to propose, but I didn't know when or where."

"Well, I'm sure glad you did."

"Me too." We started walking again.

"Oh, and Gee?"

"Yes, love?"

"Why do we have to go to Canada?" Gerard was silent for a moment, and then he started laughing. And he couldn't seem to stop.

I was confused. "What are you on about?"

"Oh nothing. I just love you so fucking much is all. And we don't have to go to Canada. I don't need a piece of godamn paper to tell me that I'm married. As far as I'm concerned, we're already married!"

"Ohhh." I finally remembered. Same sex marriage laws. We still couldn't technically marry. It was whatever though. My views were the same as Gee's. We were already married. "Hey, where's your ring?" I asked. I remembered that I hadn't noticed him wearing one.

"Right… here." Gerard reached under the collar of his black shirt and drew out a silver ring identical to the one he'd given me. It dangled from a thin chain. "I didn't want to put it on until I'd given you yours. But now I can." He unclasped the chain and pulled the ring off of it. Before putting it on his finger, he paused. "Take yours off. Look at the inside. Read what's there."

I did as I was told. It was difficult to read in this low light, so I hurried the rest of the way to the car (only a few feet) and hopped in. I raised the ring to my eye level, and noticed the small letters inscribed in the silver. "'till my dying day" was scrawled there in a neat script. Godammit. He was perfect. I looked up to see Gerard sitting in the passenger seat, looking at me. He gave me a toothy grin and held up his ring for me to see. It had the same words engraved on the inside. Without hesitation, I lunged forward and threw my arms around his neck. He hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you, Gerard Way," I whispered.

"I love you too. Now let's go meet the boys."

Fifteen minutes later, Gerard and I began our walk through the hotel parking lot. It was cold out, but the night sky was clear. Our breath made small clouds of fog in front of us, and Gerard's cigarette glowed brightly.

"Okay, Gee. You know that everyone's going to be drinking, right? Are you going to be okay?" I was honestly worried about the fact of Gerard being around everyone when they were drunk. There was no telling what he'd do.

"Frankie, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. And besides, this is our engagement party! It won't hurt me if I have just a couple drinks," he said, squeezing my hand. Now, I didn't know much about how alcoholism worked. But Gerard said this so persuasively that I really did believe him. I didn't know any better.

"Well, I suppose. But promise me you won't get drunk off your ass, okay?"

He grinned. "Promise, babe. Don't worry."

"Alright. Let's go in now. I'm freezing." I poked my tongue out at him and he laughed, giving me a quick hug.

Gerard and I hurried into the hotel to escape the cold and join the party. As soon as we got inside the room that Ray, Mikey, and Bob were sharing, we were greeted by a large group, who (having already had a considerable amount to drink, mind you) shouted cheerfully at the sight of Gerard and I holding hands.

"There's the newlyweds!" Mikey called, seeming to have forgotten his objections from earlier. The smell of alcohol in the room was overwhelming, even for me. I could imagine how it was for Gerard. I looked up at him. He was already eyeing the counter where all the boos were sitting. I felt my stomach tighten. We shouldn't be here. He was going to get wasted, and… you know what? Fuck it. I decided to stop worrying. Gerard wasn't a little kid. I didn't need to babysit him. And besides, as long as he didn't start drinking all the time again, he could have fun every once in a while. And so could I, since I didn't have to worry anymore. I released his hand from my grip and began greeting everyone. Gerard wandered over to the counter. It was at this point where I lost tabs on him.

As I wandered the hotel room, I was stopped by different members of our crew, congratulating me on my engagement. I thanked them all politely. I wasn't sure exactly who I was looking for, but I kept mingling anyhow. I guess I just didn't want to watch Gerard do the inevitable: get wasted. Although I had consciously decided not to worry, it still bothered me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I eventually found Ray out on the balcony, and sat down to talk to him. I liked talking to Ray. He was very down to earth. We stayed there talking about random shit for a long while, and I eventually lost track of time. Deep in conversation, I jumped in surprise when Mikey stumbled out onto the balcony in a flurry of awkward knees and fluffy hair.

"Ohhh, there you are," he poked my shoulder. "I was looking for you. I think you might want to check up on your husband. Everyone's gone now, and I think," he paused, looking back over his shoulder, "that he's had a little too much to drink. Considering the fact that he's puking his guts out in my hotel room."

"Shit," I whispered to myself, getting up from my chair quickly. Hurrying inside, my eyes searched the floor, looking for Gerard. I found him in the small kitchen area, throwing up all over the place, just as Mikey had said. I was disgusted. "Dammit Gerard," I said, timidly kneeling down to hold back his raven colored hair.

"Hrng," Gerard moaned, his breathing. His body began to convulse once again as his stomach heaved.

"You're such a dumbass," I said unkindly. Mikey and ray walked in, shaking their heads.

"Why is he so sick? He used to be able to drink anyone under the table without even breaking a sweat," Mikey mused.

"He had stopped drinking. It's been a few months now. When he came here and got drunk, all that alcohol was a shock to his system," I replied.

Mikey looked at me in awe. "Gerard stopped drinking? How'd you get him to do that?"

I grinned slyly. "I have my ways." We were interrupted once again by Gerard. He had stopped throwing up, but now he was moaning pitifully. I sighed. "I guess I should get him back to our room. I hate to leave you guys with this mess." I looked down at the floor guiltily. Ray waved his hands at me.

"Don't mention it. We'll clean it up. Now let's get him up off the floor." Ray leaned down to help me pull a groaning Gerard up from the ground. He leaned heavily on my smaller frame.

"You got him from here?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, I should be good. Our room's just right there."

Ray smiled apologetically and helped us to the door. "We'll see you at some point tomorrow. This one's gonna have one hell of a hangover," he said, jerking his thumb at Gerard.

"That's for sure!" I laughed. "See you later." Gerard and I started slowly down the hall and into our room. As I helped him out of his t-shirt and into bed, I had flashbacks of the night when I had found Gerard. A part of me was worried that after tonight he would revert back to his old ways of always getting wasted, but if I knew Gerard like I thought I did, he wouldn't. Because he would remember how he had felt when he was drunk all the time and he wouldn't want to feel like that again. And besides, he had me to think about now.

As I lay down beside him in bed, I couldn't help but smile. Despite how Gerard had ended up, today had been amazing. I touched the ring that encircled my finger. We were married. And we loved each other. And I was his. 'Till my dying day, just as our rings said. I shut my eyes tight and snuggled up to Gerard, who had started to snore softly.

"Gerard. Babe, wake up. It's past noon. And we have to get on the road. We get to go home today, remember?" I shook Gerard's shoulder.

"Wha? Hrng… aww shit!" he sat up too quickly, his hangover hitting him right off the bat. He grabbed at his head and moaned. "What the fuck is up with my head?"

I couldn't help myself; a laugh burst from my lips before I could stop it. He didn't remember how drunk he'd gotten last night. "Gee, you've got a massive hangover. You drank too much last night and puked all over Ray's hotel room floor." I made a face. "And you probably don't remember half of that."

"You'd be right on that one," Gerard groaned. "Fuck. I swear I'll never get that drunk again, if this is what it feels like. I'd forgotten how shit it makes you feel."

I smiled. Good. He regretted it. "Here, take this aspirin and then get your sorry ass out of bed so we can go home." I handed him the two small white pills and a glass of water. He dry swallowed the pills and began patting his pockets.

"Where did I put my smokes?" he muttered to himself. I rolled my eyes. Meanwhile, he had spotted a pack of cigarettes on the bedside table and was reaching for them. "Toss me a lighter or a match, will you Frankie?"

I shook my head. "No way. You'll have to get out of bed and get one yourself if you want to smoke that badly."

He started to protest, but I just got up and went into the bathroom to pack some of my belongings. I assumed Gerard had located a lighter or something, because it was quite a few minutes before he came into the restroom after me, smelling of new cigarette smoke. I cringed as he stepped up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**A/N: Ello. I hope you've been enjoying this fic so far, as it's my first. Let me know what you think up to this point! *facepalm* As I read this chapter back, I realize how awful I was at even starting to write smut. And this is nothing. Oh well, deal. 'Kay, that is all. Continue on ^_^**

"Good morning Frankie, my new husband," he whispered, squeezing me tight. He smelled strongly of, among other things, smoke, sweat, and beer. I decided that it was time he took a shower.

"Technically," I whispered back, "it's afternoon. But hell, good morning to you too. And babe. You really ought to take a shower before we go. I mean, honestly. How long has it been since you showered last?" I reached up and touched his greasy black hair. He grinned sheepishly.

"Okay. But only if you come with me," he said, looking at me in the mirror, meeting my eyes.

"Why on earth would I do that?" I mused aloud. Gerard looked a little put out, but then he softened, remembering I was still quite inexperienced, if you know what I mean.

"C'mon. Just try it. We have time." He began lifting the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it up over my head. I gasped as his ice cold fingertips grazed my torso. I swear to god, he was a vampire or something. Once he had my shirt off, he spun me around and kissed me gently. His kisses were intoxicating. I kissed Gee back, slowly pressing him backwards. Our hands were everywhere on each other. Since Gerard was already lacking a shirt, I began working on his belt, helping him out of his tight pants, all the while our lips still locked. Gerard slowly ran his tongue around the edges of my lips, convincing me to part my teeth. Our tongues crashed together, deepening the kiss. I gently tugged on his bottom lip with my teeth, drawing a small moan from Gerard. God, those noises. Gerard hesitantly broke the kiss so that he could pull open the shower curtain and turn on the water. He had fully undressed by this time, and I only needed to remove my drawers. When Gerard turned back to me, he looked me up and down, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Come on, babe," he reached out to grab my hand, pulling me closer. He gently slid his thumbs inside my boxers, easing them down slowly. I'm not sure why, but I was trembling. I was oddly nervous. Now that we were both unclothed, Gerard wrapped his arm around my waist and stepped into the shower, pulling my after him. The warm water cascaded down over our heads. Gerard stepped closer to me, but somehow managed to slip. He slid to the shower floor, pulling me down with him in a fit of giggles and protests. I landed unceremoniously on top of him, our bodies pressed together. My dark brown fluff of hair fell into my eyes and plastered to the side of my cheek. Gerard reached up to push it away before crashing his lips down on mine. As the kiss deepened, our wet bodies wriggled against each other, causing moans of pleasure to escape both of us.

"Ready, Frankie?" Gerard breathed into my ear.

"Ready."

Gerard pulled himself on top of me and slid his hands down my sides. I shivered at the thought of what was to come.

I ripped open the shower curtain and stepped out, Gerard in tow. I shook my head like a dog, ridding my damp hair of the excess water. Gerard laughed as water droplets sprayed him. "Down boy!" he exclaimed, jumping backwards.

"Oh hush, you're already wet!"

Gerard wiggled his eyebrows. "Only because you make me." I blushed and turned away. We needed to get going.

"We have to start home. It's already getting late, and I hate driving at night. So get dressed and pack," I instructed. I wandered back to my suitcase and rummaged around for the cleanest clothes I could find. A few minutes later, Gerard waltzed out of the bathroom, carrying his suitcase, but still lacking clothing. I giggled. 'Gerard! Pants, at least! Come on now."

"Aw, but Frankie!" he pouted, sticking out his lower lip. "I don't like clothes though."

"Pants, Gerard, pants." I gave him a playful shove. He sighed dramatically and opened his suitcase to find a pair of the requested pants. Forty five minutes later, after a little more fooling around, we were finally on our way home. This time though, instead of being in the rental car Gee and I had driven around in before, the whole band was piled into our van, ready for the ride back to New Jersey. I was in the driver's seat, and Ray was sitting next to me on the passenger side. Don't ask me where Gerard is. He's probably either drawing or writing. That's what he always did when he disappeared. Oh, and smoking. Don't forget smoking. Just the thought of him sitting for hours on end chain smoking made me feel somewhat depressed. Because I knew that with every breath of smoke he inhaled, he was shortening his time with me. Now sure, he could be one of the lucky ones who lived forever, for chrissake. But I just had a feeling that he wouldn't be one of the lucky ones…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**A/N: Herp derp. Sorry for another one of my pointless interruptions. I just wanted to let you know that now the story is going to be switching off between Gerard and Frank's point of view (POV = point of view). I think it'll make what's going to happen a little more effective. Don't hate me *hides* I hope you've enjoyed so far (I think I've said that before), but I have a feeling the end is going to be better ^_^ Okay. I'll shut up now and let you keep reading.**

**Gerard's POV**

I leaned back into the wall, inhaling deeply and shutting my eyes. The sounds of Bob and Mikey bickering in the front of our van drifted back to me, as well as the Misfits music that was playing up in the stereo. I loved my spot in the back of the van: on the ground up against the back doors, surrounded by all our shit. I would sit here the whole ride and doodle, write, and smoke. Today, I was armed with my sketch book, notepad, pencil, and a few pack of cigarettes and a lighter. At the moment, I was brainstorming ideas for a new album, but not having much luck. I sighed and took a deep drag on my cigarette, finishing it off. I held the smoke in my mouth, feeling the tingle of it travelling through my lungs before releasing it. I tossed the dead cigarette butt into my pile of others and reached for a new pack. As I did so, I felt a sharp pain shoot through my chest. I gasped and pressed a hand up to my heart. It felt as if I'd been stabbed in the chest. I moaned and curled my knees to my chest, trying to rid myself of the pain. Then, just as abruptly as it had come, the pain vanished. I slowly uncurled, hesitant. When it didn't return, I breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed a cigarette and lit up. I continued on what I was doing, and thought nothing more of the odd pain. 

**Frank's POV**

I felt my eyelids drooping. I needed someone to take over driving. Ray was asleep in the passenger seat, so I reached over and poked him. Hard. But all he did was stir a little.

"Ray," I whined. "Wake the fuck up so you can drive. I need sleep." Despite my efforts, Ray refused to waken. To top it off, he began to snore loudly. I listened to the back of the van. Silence. They were all asleep too.

"Dammit," I growled to no one in particular. I was going to have to stick it out and drive the rest of the way. The time passed slowly in the quiet. When we finally reached Ray and Bob's street, I was relieved beyond belief. I stopped the van and beeped the horn once, waking Ray.

"We're here, lazy ass. Go wake Bob up; he's in back. And I'll see you when I see you. G'night." Ray nodded sleepily and patted my shoulder before climbing into the back of the van. Before long, I heard mumbling and the boys moving about. Mikey crawled into the passenger seat, murmuring something about coffee. With Ray and Bob gone, I pulled away from the curb to head to the apartment that Gee and Mikey shared to drop them off.

When we got there, I helped the two with their belonging and kissed Gerard lightly. I had a feeling Mikey was still a little bit uncomfortable with the fact that his brother and I were together. So I tried to keep the PDA to a minimum, for his sake.

I reached up to whisper is Gerard's ear. "I'll see you later tomorrow, yeah babe? Now get some sleep. I love you." Dropping back off my tiptoes, I saw Gerard nod. His eyes were bleary with sleepiness and he looked slightly sick. I chewed my bottom lip, playing with my lip ring. I didn't want to ask him if he was okay now, because I'm sure he was just tired. So I thought nothing of it and gave the brothers a little wave before hopping back in the van to head to my apartment. As I drove, I pondered the idea of Gerard and I moving in together. Would we get a new apartment, or maybe even a little house? I smiled to myself at the thought.

**Gerard's POV**

The sensation that I felt as I woke up the morning after returning home was one that I'd never felt before. It was like I was drowning, but without the water. I sat up sharply, gasping for breath. My chest was tight and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I coughed violently and put my head in my hands. What was happening to me? First that pain last night, now this. I slowly got out of bed and began coughing again. It was this horrible dry cough that burned my throat. I absentmindedly wondered if I was getting sick as I searched for my smokes. I was going to work on album ideas this morning and then go to dinner with Frankie later this evening. Ah, Frankie. The thought of him brought a smile to my face. I twisted the smooth silver ring around my finger. My husband. The man who forever had my heart.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**A/N: Hiya guys. This chapter is going to be a little bit longer, cos I got to typing it and I couldn't stop. So here ya go.**

**(Still Gerard's POV)**

Months passed, and Frank and I fell deeper and deeper in love. Countless hours were spent together, doing everything and nothing. We even managed to find a small house five minutes from the studio and the rest of the boys. We were moving in today, as a matter of fact. I was totally excited. I could finally be with Frankie as much as I wanted. Truth is, I'd been missing him lately. We'd both been extremely busy: me with my constant writing, and him with his guitar. I think he was making it a personal mission to show Ray he could play lead. Good luck, darling. Anyways, it was time for me to meet Frankie at our new house. We were signing papers together at noon there, and it was nearly that time. So I needed to move my ass.

All my suitcases were packed with my shit and ready to go by the front door. They only needed to be loaded into my car. Normally I'd make Mikey do that since I'm such a lazy ass, but he was off visiting some girl today. Alicia, I think her name was. So I was going to have to load my stuff myself. Damn. I wandered to the door and reached down to get the smallest case. As I began to stand back up, the pain from that night in the van returned, only worse. I gasped and sank to the ground. I waited for the pain to subside, but nothing happened. It was still there, like a thousand knives in my chest. After a few minutes of lying there helplessly, the throbbing fell to a dull ache, just tolerable enough for me to get up and carefully load my suitcases. I needed to hurry now; I was keeping Frank waiting.

**Frank's POV**

"I'm so sorry, he said he'd be here. I don't know what he's up to."

Dammit, Gerard. We were signing ownership papers for our house today and he hadn't shown up at the set time. And now our realtor was getting pissy.

"I have other things I need to do today," she said snidely, tapping her wristwatch. "I can understand five minutes, but half an hour?" She shook her head.

"He should be here any minute now," I assured her. As if on cue, Gerard's beat up old Honda drove around the corner. "See? There he is now."

When Gerard got out of the car, I knew immediately that something was wrong. He didn't look good at all. He was even paler than normal (I know, impossible, right?) and his hair was matted to his forehead with sweat.

"Sorry I'm late. Now let's just hurry up and get these papers signed."

A massive stack of contracts later, our realtor was finally gone, leaving Gerard and I alone in our new house. Now I could ask what was wrong. The whole time that we had been sitting down signing papers, he had been fidgeting as if he was in pain. And from what I could tell, his breathing didn't sound right. It sounded, oh I don't know, off.

"Gee, baby, are you alright?" I asked him, taking his hand. "You look sick…" His hand was clammy, not like the normally warm and dry one I was used to.

"I got this really awful pain in my chest, right when I was getting ready to come here. I still feel it, just not as intense." His face was screwed up in pain, and he rubbed his free hand along his chest.

"That doesn't sound too good. Go to the doctor, will you Gee? I don't want anything to be wrong with you." Gerard looked at me for a moment and then nodded.

"Alright, I'll go. You stay here and unpack." He kissed me quickly before going back outside to his car.

**Gerard's POV**

I hate hospitals. Plain and simple. Not only do I hate the atmosphere, but any kind of needle or syringe scares me half to death. The only reason I'm here is because Frank asked me to come. Okay, and partly because I was starting to actually worry about my health. I pulled into the hospital parking lot and parked. The lot was nearly empty, so I shouldn't have to wait long in this torture trap. I walked slowly up to the double doors and took a deep breath before entering. As soon as I stepped inside, the sterile smell of disinfectant filled my nose and it was all I could do not to gag. I made my way up to the front desk. I was unfamiliar with my surroundings, since I tried to avoid hospitals at all costs.

I approached the young woman who was sitting behind the desk taking calls. "Erm… excuse me?" I asked tentatively, leaning forward. "Ma'am?" The woman looked up, surprised. She gave me a once over, taking in my matted black hair, pale skin and rumpled clothing.

"May I help you?"

"Uh, yes, I suppose. I need to see a doctor or something."

She arched an eyebrow. "Okay then. What's the problem? And I shall need to know your name."

"Name's Gerard Way, and um. Chest pain, I guess."

"Alright, one minute, Mr. Way. Why don't you have a seat."

I nodded my thanks and went to the waiting area. It was furnished with a dozen wooden backed chairs. There was a woven rug on the floor and a fish tank sat against the opposite wall. On the corner tables colorful flowers sat in glass vases. Everything was all very bright and colorful. It seemed to me that whoever had done the decorating was trying to make the area cheerful so that when one was sitting here, it made them forget the reason they were in the hospital. It may work for some people, but not for me. Despite all the color, the potent hospital smell still filled the air. To me, this waiting area almost disgusted me more than the hospital itself. In my mind I saw families sitting here, waiting in suspense for any sort of news on a loved one in critical condition. I could hear their cries of anguish when they discovered a family member was dying. It was all quite dark and depressing. I suddenly wished I had Frank here with me.

"Mr. Way?"

I looked up, seeing an older man with graying hair and glasses standing a few feet away, holding a clipboard. I'm guessing he was the doctor. I stood slowly.

"Yessir, that's me." The doctor nodded curtly and motioned for me to follow him. We walked down the long hall to the general clinic rooms. The hospital was eerily silent, and everything was so white. I vaguely wondered why they didn't make hospitals black. Black seemed much more fitting for a place filled with pain and death. As we reached the room, the doctor, who had introduced himself as Dr. Wade, pointed to the long silver table covered in white paper.

"Go ahead and hop up there and we'll have a look at you." I obeyed, and chewed my bottom lip nervously as Wade rummaged around in a drawer. Damn, I needed a cigarette.

"Alright, Mr. Way, I want to see what your insides look like." Wade stepped up behind me with a stethoscope and commanded me to sit up straight and take deep breaths. I shivered as the cold metal of the medical instrument slid under my shirt and touched my chest. After the initial shock of the cold, I began to breathe regularly. Or what I thought was regular, anyways. As Wade slid the stethoscope into different positions on my chest and back, a frown built across his face.

"Are you a smoker, Mr. Way?" he asked, still frowning.

"Yessir, I am."

"How long?"

"Quite a few years," I replied, not remembering when I'd started exactly.

"Well, it shows. Your breathing is very shallow; irregular. And you've been complaining of chest pain?" I nodded, beginning to worry.

"Normally an otherwise healthy young man such as yourself wouldn't have such breathing problems from smoking until much later. And the chest pain," Wade paused, removing the stethoscope from my chest. "It could be any number of things. But I have some ideas. How long ago did the chest pains start?"

"A couple months ago, at the end of my band's tour," I said uneasily.

"Did you start smoking more than usual?"

"No, I've always been a heavy smoker."

Wade took off his glasses and looked at me gravely. "Why didn't you come in earlier?" he asked, shaking his head.

I shrugged. "I thought the pains would stop coming."

Wade sighed and put his glasses back on. "Alright. I think we're going to have to do an MRI on your chest. I have a bad feeling about where this is going."

My heart dropped. "What?"

"I think, unfortunately Mr. Way, that you have lung cancer."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Frank's POV**

I sure hoped nothing was wrong with Gerard. Now that I thought about it though, there were times over the last few months when he had seemed… off. Not himself. I prayed that the pain had been a one-time thing. I mean, he hadn't complained of it before today. Ugh. I needed to call Mikey. I dialed up the younger Way on my cell, waiting for him to pick up. When he did, he seemed surprised that it was me.

"Frank? Aren't you with Gerard?"

"Yeah, I was, but I sent him to the hospital. He said that he had this weird chest pain. Has he seemed alright at home lately?"

"Huh. Well, he's had this really hardcore cough when he wakes up, but I bet it's just a cold."

"But Mikey-"

"Look, Frank, I'm with Alicia right now, so I can't talk. But don't worry. I'm sure everything is fine."

"I'm just afraid he's not going to be okay."

"This is Gerard we're talking about. Gerard is always o-fucking-kay." Mikey laughed at the reference. I sighed.

"Bye, Mikey. Have fun with your girl."

**Gerard's POV**

I felt a wave of nausea pass over me at Dr. Wade's words: "I'm afraid you may have lung cancer." No. I couldn't have cancer. Cancer means chemo, which leads to hair loss and sickness (and half the time it doesn't even work). And then what? I die? If I died, I would leave Frank. Oh god, Frankie. How would I tell him if I did end up having the cancer? I couldn't-

_Calm down, Gerard. Think clearly. Wade said you might have the cancer. Might. As in, a possibility. Not for sure. They still need to do tests. And even if you do have it, chemotherapy can cure you. Maybe. If you're lucky._

_ I'll be lucky. I'm Gerard Way. Nothing can touch me. Right._

_ But Gerard. When have you ever been so lucky before? You're not going to be saved by the chemo. What have you ever done to deserve the cure? You're not that special. You're going to die. You're going to leave Frank alone in this world. All because you were too naïve and stubborn to take anyone's advice to stop smoking._

_ Stop it! I have to be okay. I have to. I'm not done here yet. There are too many things left unsaid, undone._

_ But Gerard-_

No. I shook my head, trying to clear the voices that pushed themselves into my mind. I looked up. Wade had gone, leaving me to my misery. My eyes travelled around the room frantically. I couldn't take this. It was all too much. I had to get out of this room, out of the hospital. The walls seemed to be closing in on me. I had to go. Now. I leapt off the metal table and ripped the door open. As I hurried down the hall, I heard Wade's footsteps coming towards me. It would be only a second before-

"Mr. Way! Where are you headed? We need to do the MRI as soon as possible."

I came to a halt and reluctantly turned back around. I needed to get this over with. "Fine. Point me in the right direction," I told Wade. He nodded sharply and led me back down the hall and into another room. This room was much larger, but I still felt the panic rising up inside me at the sight of all the medical equipment.

"Mr. Way, is there anyone you'd like to call before beginning?"

A million thoughts flew through my head. Who should I tell? Or rather, should I tell anyone at all? If I didn't have cancer, I didn't want to worry anyone for no reason. And even if I did end up having it, I'm not sure I wanted to tell anyone anyways. Even Frankie. If it wasn't terminal, there'd be no point. And if it was… well. If I was going to go down, I was going down like I had lived: loud and without pity. That's the last thing I wanted at the end: pity. I made my decision right there. No matter what happened, no one was ever going to know I had cancer up until my last hours. Assuming I did have it.

I looked back at Dr. Wade. "No. there's no one."

He nodded at my wedding ring. "Not even your wife?"

"Husband," I quickly corrected. "And no. He'll only worry."

Wade only reacted slightly to my correction. Then he looked puzzled. "With good reason he'd worry," he said darkly.

I sighed. I suddenly felt very tired. "Let's just get this over with, okay? I need to know if I have cancer." Wade looked at me for a moment before leading me to a large, tunnel like machine.

"Okay. Let's get started."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry this one's so short. *shrugs* I'll make up for it on the next chapter ^_^**

**Frank's POV**

He had been gone for so long. I was starting to worry. I had already finished unpacking too. What if something serious was wrong with him? No. Nothing could be wrong. He _is _Gerard Way, for chrissake.

_But frank, he _has_ smoked for nearly ten years, you know that. And remember his alcoholism? Yeah. That. He's not the healthiest individual._

Stop it. There's no point in worrying now. He'll tell you if something's wrong. He won't hide anything from you. He would never.

**Gerard's POV**

After the MRI, I was sent to a spacious room to wait while they processed the photos for me to see. Of course, the doctors on call already knew the results. And I had a feeling I knew too. Things were looking grim.

Half an hour later, I was ushered back into the small clinic room I had started in. Dr. Wade was there, along with a few other doctors whom I didn't recognize. The small lettering on their lab jackets let me know that they were from Oncology, the cancer unit of the hospital. Shit. On the wall, transparent photos from my MRI hung limply, light shining through them, illuminating them so they could be seen clearly. As I walked towards the doctors, all of them were looking at me grimly. I felt as though I was a prisoner walking into court to receive my punishment. And in a way, I really was a prisoner. The doctors were the jury, the cancer was the judge. And the judge was giving me the death sentence.

I nodded a somber greeting to the doctors. "What's the verdict?" I joked weakly, even though I knew the answer. And to a point even, I had already accepted it. One of the oncologists stepped forward, and introduced himself as Dr. Lee. He also told me that he would be the doctor handling my "issues" from now on.

"So you see, Mr. Way…"

"Call me Gerard," I cut in, I was sick of everything being so fucking formal.

"Okay, Gerard. You see this mass?" Dr. Lee pointed at a lump in one of the photographs that seemed to be resting comfortably in my lungs. "This is the main tumor. Which we did find to be cancerous. Now, if it was just that one mass, treatment would be much easier. But you see," Lee paused, bringing forth a new, more intricate photo. "There are many other, smaller yet potent masses throughout your chest cavity. This means that the cancer had spread, and is now in what we call stage two."

I gulped, trying to control my already ragged breathing. "What does that mean?"

"What it means, I'm afraid, is that we're just a bit too late to treat successfully. I mean, we can still try chemotherapy pills, but it most likely won't be curative. It'll be more palliative, meaning it'll just help reduce the pain until, you know, the end."

I felt that hopeless feeling of dread return to me. Oh god. I was really dying. "H- how long do I have?"

"If you go through with the chemo, it'll give you six months, a year at best. And without it, well, you'd be lucky to get two months."

One year. That's all I had. At best. I only had one year left with my Frankie. I couldn't tell him. If I did, that's all he would think about. I wanted our last months together to be beautiful, full of life. Not wallowing in the misery of my impending death. This was going to be hard to keep a secret, though.

"Will um… will the chemo make me lose my hair?" I asked.

"Unfortunately so. Now, you won't go all the way bald because the palliative dose isn't as strong as the curative. But your hair will become considerably shorter and thinner," Lee replied, looking at me sympathetically. "So will you be starting the chemo pills?"

I nodded. "Yes please. I want all the time I can get."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**(still Gerard's POV)**

"Very well. I'll have your first bottle made up for you. It's an outpatient procedure, of course, so I'll need to see you back once a month to refill it. After that, if you're still doing well considering, all that's left to do is keep taking the chemo and wait. Although if at any point you start feeling weak to a point where you know it's not just a side effect of the treatment, come in immediately. Aside from that, I want you here once a week for me to monitor those tumors." Lee put a hand on my shoulder. "I can't tell you how truly sorry I am. I hate having to give such news to patients."

I nodded, completely out of it. I'm not sure I even heard any of what he had said. Only twenty eight years old and I was dying. I wouldn't even make it to thirty. I wouldn't-

_Okay Gerard. Just accept it. You'll be gone within the year. There are going to be a lot of things you'll never do, never accomplish. But you need to stop moping and live your life; what's left of it, anyways. You're not afraid to keep on living, right until the bitter end, right? _

Right.

I thanked Dr. Lee and took my bottle of pills with me from the hospital after scheduling the day and time for my weekly appointments. I checked the time on my car dashboard. Nearly five thirty. I hadn't realized how long I'd been gone. I briefly wondered if Frank was worried. I decided to give him a call.

**Frank's POV**

"Hey, babe."

"''Gerard where the fuck are you?"

It was five thirty and Gerard had finally called me. Hearing his voice relieved me, but only for a moment until I remembered where he'd been. He shouldn't have taken that long at the hospital unless something was seriously wrong. "What'd the doctors say? Are you okay?"

Gerard's laugh sounded over the phone. "Of course I'm okay! The chest pain was just due to this stupid cough that I've had. Just a cold. No biggie."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness. But what took you so long?"

"Get this. I saw one of my old friends back from high school. She's actually working as a nurse at the hospital. We got to talking and went and had a coffee after her shift was over to catch up. And guess where I'm off to now?"

"Where?" I couldn't imagine.

"I, Frankie darling, am going to get a haircut. It's gonna be a big change. I think I may get it dyed, too."

I could picture him grinning mischievously as he said this and I smiled. "Dye it that white-blonde color you've been admiring. That'll be hot!" I giggled.

Gerard squealed with excitement on the other end of the line. "Okay! I'll see you when I get home. Love you." And he clicked off.

**Gerard's POV**

I had just gotten off the phone with frank, assuring him everything was fine. It was all too easy to lie to him and make him believe every word I said. I would've found it comical if not for the circumstances. I had to snap out of my funk before I got home or Frank would notice right away that something was wrong. So I shoved all thoughts of my sickness out of my head as I swallowed the first two pills. Time to get a haircut. If I was going to lose most of my hair, I was going to lose it on my own terms, not the cancer's. And after I got my hair cut and dyed, it would be time to write. I knew exactly what the next My Chemical Romance album was going to be. I felt every lyric, every guitar riff inside of me. Oh, I would tell them it was just a concept album about "The Patient" dying (ironically of cancer), only they'd have no idea that "The Patient" was me. We'd finish it before my death, and when I died they'd finally know. But not until then. It will tell about the death, expected afterlife experiences, and reflections of life. My life. As I would write it and we would record, death would slowly come for me. Come for me in my fondest memory. Just as I believed it to be. Just as the album would entail. The last thing I would know before I fade to black. The Black Parade.

**Frank's POV**

I sat impatiently by the front door, fiddling with random odds and ends that had yet to be unpacked. I was waiting for Gerard to come home, with his new haircut. I wondered why he decided to get a haircut all of a sudden. Not that I cared; he would look beautiful all the same. I heard the Honda pull into the driveway and jumped up to meet him. I hid behind the wall that was close to the door as his keys jingled in the lock. As he pushed the door open, I jumped on him.

"HOLY FUCK, FRANK! Midget attack!" Gerard shrieked, laughing.

"Hey!" I said, offended. "I'm average height."

"Average for a midget, I suppose," he shot back, and then pulled me into a tight hug, kissing the top of my head. I pulled away so that I could get a good look at his hair. Oh my. It was so much different. The long, messy locks of raven black hair were completely gone, having been replaced with white-blonde color. Not only was the color different, but the length. It was cropped short, and you could actually see Gerard's whole face and even his ears. It was going to take some getting used to. But it looked nice.

"What do you think? I mean, do you hate it?" he asked, chewing his bottom lip.

"I love it," I replied, stepping up to kiss him. He wound his arms around my waist, pulling me closer.

"C'mon, Frankie," he whispered. "I need you tonight."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Gerard's POV**

I lay on my back in our new bed, in our new house, next to a sleeping Frankie. Lord knows I should be totally and completely happy. But I couldn't keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. As Frankie slept beside me, it finally hit me. I mean, the gravity of my situation. And now I couldn't stop crying. I never cried. I tried to hold the sobs back so that I wouldn't wake Frank, but all I managed to do was splutter and gasp for breath. I couldn't stay here. I needed to get up and write. My fingers itched to grab hold of a pen and begin the new album. I knew exactly what the first song I would write would be called, just like I knew exactly the lyrics I wanted to write.

I pulled myself out of bed, still sniffling pathetically, and searched for my notebook and pen that I had left underneath my side of the bed. I went to push back my hair, forgetting it was pretty much gone. That killed me. I reached for the notebook and then straightened. I settled myself down into a chair in the corner of the room and put my pen to the paper, letting my words flow freely.

_Now I know that I can't make you stay. But where's your heart? But where's your heart? But where's your...? And I know there's nothing I can say to change that part. To change that part. To change...  
>So many bright lights, they cast a shadow. But can I speak? Well, is it hard understanding I'm incomplete? A life that's so demanding, I get so weak. A love that's so demanding, I can't speak.<br>I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home.  
>Can you see my eyes are shining bright? 'Cause I'm out here on the other side of a jet black hotel mirror and I'm so weak. Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete? A love that's so demanding, I get weak.<br>I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home.  
>I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home.<br>These bright lights have always blinded me. These bright lights have always blinded me. I say…  
>I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid. Asleep or dead.<br>(How can I see, I see you lying) 'Cause I see you lying next to me. (How can I see, I see you lying) With words I thought I'd never speak. (How can I see, I see you lying) Awake and unafraid. (How can I see, I see you lying) Asleep or dead.  
>'Cause I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid. Asleep or dead.<br>'Cause I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid. Asleep or dead.  
>I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone (Or dead). Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home (Or dead).<em>

_ I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone (Or dead). Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home (Or dead)._

_ I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone (Or dead). Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home._

I put down my pen and dropped back deeper into the chair. The tears of before had stopped falling as I finished the song. In a way, this song was a bit of closure for me. I had a feeling those would be some of the last tears I cried for myself.

**Frank's POV**

I woke the next morning to find the bed next to me cold and empty. I sat up, my eyes searching for Gerard. I spotted him in the chair across the room, asleep. He held a black notebook in his hand. Being the curious fuck that I am, I immediately got up and wandered over to him, carefully prying the notebook from his grasp and flipping it open. Inside, only the first page was used, front and back. On that page, in Gee's messy handwriting, lyrics to a song I didn't recognize were scrawled. It was beautiful. After reading what I presumed to be a song from what Gerard wanted to be our next album, I went and fetched my acoustic guitar. I wanted to start chords for this. It was that good.

Sitting in the other room with my guitar and Gee's notebook, I heard him wake up. He began coughing violently, this great, hacking dry cough. I frowned. That didn't sound like an ordinary cough you'd get from a cold. But he insisted that's all it was, so not much more I could say. A few seconds later, Gerard padded into the room, rubbing his chest as if it hurt. When he saw the notebook lying open at my feet, he grinned.

"I see you've found the first song for the album," he said cheerfully. I nodded.

"It's so good, Gee, really. What is your plan for the rest of it? Are we making it a concept album? I've always wanted to do one of those…"

A look of something I couldn't quite place passed over his face. Sadness? Pain? It was a mixture of many things, I suppose. I wondered what was up with that, but the look was gone before I could think much of it. Now Gerard was nodding.

"Yeah, I have the whole thing planned in my head. I want it to be a concept album of death, the afterlife, and such. It'll be called the Black Parade, I think. What do you say?"

A concept album about death? Was it just me or was this all too close to him going to the hospital and being sick, or…? Was he the one dying? No, he'd tell me. And he wouldn't be so, I dunno, happy right now. Maybe that trip to the hospital just triggered his imagination. Yeah.

"It sounds great, babe. I love the idea. Hurry up and write it so we can take the lyrics to Ray, Mikey, and Bob to start coming up with the drum and guitar parts. Then we can record!" I said with enthusiasm. He smiled and bent down to kiss me.

"Well hand over my notebook so I can write," he said playfully, snatching the item in question off of the ground and stalking away to the room he had deemed his for creative purposes. I heard him muttering to himself something about his cigarettes.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**Gerard's POV**

After discussing the album with Frank, I holed myself up for a few hours in my room to write. I had been chain smoking too. It helps me to think. I'm sure it's not the smartest thing to be doing, considering I already have second stage lung cancer, but in my mind the damage has already been done. But now, after a full pack in a short time, it was becoming painful to continue smoking. Each time I inhaled more of that deadly nicotine filled smoke, my throat and lungs burned painfully. When it became too much, I put out the cigarette I had been taking drags on and looked down at my notebook. I had finished the entire album, save for one song. I had even named all the songs: 'The End', 'Dead!', 'This Is How I Disappear', 'The Sharpest Lives', 'Welcome To The Black Parade', 'I Don't Love You', 'House Of Wolves', 'Mama', 'Sleep', 'Teenagers', 'Disenchanted', 'Famous Last Words', and even a couple others ('Blood', 'Bury Me In Black', 'Heaven Help Us', 'Kill All Your Friends', and 'My Way Home Is Through You'). I knew there was only one song I had left to write. It would be called 'Cancer'. I took a deep breath and put my pen to my paper on final time. This song was essentially my goodbye.

_ Turn away, if you could get me a drink of water, 'cause my lips are chapped and faded. Call my Aunt Marie. Help her gather all my things and bury me in all my favorite colors. My sisters and my brother, still I will not kiss you. 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you._

_ Now turn away 'cause I'm awful just to see. 'Cause all my hair's abandoned, all my body, oh my agony. Know that I will never marry. Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo, but counting down the days to go. It just ain't living. And I just hope you know that if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true. 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you. 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you. _

My pen fell from my shaking hand and an awful, almost inhuman sob broke from my lips. I didn't know how I was going to be able to live through this year. I almost wanted it to be over, in a way. I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to let anymore tears fall. I wanted the pain and misery to be over. After a moment, I opened my eyes and slowly re-read my words. I really did have an Aunt Marie, but the boys didn't know about her. So I thought it'd be fitting to use her name. Oh, and that line about me never marrying? Not entirely true, because technically I was married. What I'd meant by that was that I'd never see the day that Frankie and I could legally get married in our own country. I stared at the song for another moment before snapping the notebook shut. The Black Parade was finished. That's the fastest I'd ever written anything. I guess when something is so real, the words just flow freely. I stood up, taking the notebook with me, and exited the room. Time to take the lyrics to Frank, Mikey, Ray, and Bob. I hoped they could bang out bass, guitar, and drum parts almost as quick as I had written. I needed to get this done.

**Frank's POV**

Gerard emerged from his room a few hours later, a cloud of smoke seemingly surrounding him. He looked at me triumphantly.

"It's done," he announced, grabbing me and spinning me around before kissing me roughly. I giggled before pushing him away. He tasted way too strongly of those cigarettes he'd smoked.

"I think that's the fastest you've ever written an album," I mused.

Gerard shrugged. "It was all already in my head. All I had to do was write it down." I smiled up at him. It was good to see him so happy.

"When are you gonna take it to the rest of the boys?" I asked.

"Tomorrow, first thing. I would like to get this recorded as soon as possible."

"Why the rush?"

"No reason. I just think it's going to be brilliant when it's done."

I grinned. His enthusiasm was infectious.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**A/N: Hi there. If you've read to this point, bravo. I applaud you for sticking with me. I'm sorry if I haven't been doing much writing on Frank's POV. It's easier to just stick to Gerard's, considering. I'm afraid Frank won't show up too much until the end *hangs head* Okie dokie that is all :3**

**Gerard's POV**

Quite a few weeks passed, and slowly but surely the album was coming together. The rhythm guitar and bass guitar parts for all the songs were completely finished, and lead guitar and drums only had a few more things that needed to be worked out. It may seem as though we were rushing it, but I was impatient to get everything finished so we could record. In my weekly visits to Dr. Lee (I told Frankie I was visiting one friend or another when I went), he told me that the chemo pills weren't helping prolong the cancer spread as he would like. He upped my dosage, which began to make me extremely sick. During the first week of having the higher dose, I was throwing up all the time and I felt nauseous every time I even moved. When I returned to Lee at the next appointment, he told me that there hadn't been any noted progress and that he was afraid I wouldn't even quite have six months left. Which meant my time was almost halfway up. So you can see my urgency to get my final words in through The Black Parade. Finally one day the boys came to me and told me all the parts were finished. All we had to do was record. This was at my three and a half month mark.

We entered the studio and began recording in April 2006, a few days after my twenty ninth birthday. The drum, guitar, and bass tracks were recorded first, over the course of two weeks. It was the fastest we'd ever recorded anything. During this time, I was at the studio every day to watch the progress of the tracks and to keep my mind off of, you know. On the third week, all of the other background music was put with the guitar, bass, and drum tracks. That took three days. Now all that was left was for me to sing. I began the vocal tracks at my four month mark (I have six, remember?). The boys stayed in the studio throughout the whole time the vocals were recorded. When I was in the booth, I could feel Frank's eyes glued to me. I would shut my own eyes as I sang so that I wouldn't have to be reminded of all the people I was leaving behind.

On the last day of recording, somewhere near the middle of June, I only had one song left to sing: 'Cancer'. I had wanted to save this song for last, because like I said before when I was writing it, it was my goodbye. This would be the last song I would ever sing. I only had about one month left, and I was starting to really feel the cancer taking its toll on my body. I would wake up feeling completely and utterly exhausted, like I had not slept at all. I think Frank was even noticing a change in me. I mean, we used to you know, having sex whenever we could, but I was even getting to the point where I couldn't go for very long at all. I would start gasping for breath and start shaking with exhaustion. Frank would always hold me tight as I shook, and then ask me if I was alright. There were so many times when I just wanted to burst into tears and tell him that no, I wasn't okay. But I never did. I wouldn't be able to do that to him. Although, there was that voice in the back of my head, telling me that it would be better to warm Frank, instead of spring it on him in my last few days.

Ray, Mikey, Frank, and even Bob were gathered outside of the booth at the studio, waiting for me to begin singing. As for me, I was standing at the mic, with my headphones on, ready to go. For no apparent reason, my heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. It was really hitting me hard: the fact that this was the last time I'd ever sing for my band, for anyone. The fact that I was saying goodbye to everyone I loved, and they didn't even know it.

I raised my head and nodded to the man sitting behind the audio controls. I was ready. I heard the click in my headphones and breathed in. My chest tightened and my dry, sore throat throbbed painfully as I began to sing.

"Turn away…"

I kept my eyes shut the entire time, letting myself become lost in my words of farewell. Near the end, on the last phrase, the tears began pushing against my eyelids and my voice nearly broke.

"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you." My voice cracked with emotion on the last note. I heard the ending click of the track in my ears and stepped back, looking up. The sight of the boys looking in the window of the booth, watching me, met my eyes. I looked straight to Frank, and I felt a single tear slide down my cheek. I didn't bother to wipe it away. When I stepped from the booth, the boys surrounded me, talking excitedly.

"We finished a whole fucking album in two and a half months!" Mikey gushed, shoving his glasses up his nose. Ray and Bob chimed in, expressing their happiness. I noticed that Frank was oddly quiet. And then:

"Did you start crying at the end of the song?" he asked.

"I- yes, I did. I don't know why, but that song always gets me every time," I lied. Well, it wasn't completely a lie. Frank narrowed his eyes, but left it at that.

"Well. We've got ourselves a finished album! When are we going to release it?" Ray asked, looking at all of us.

"I think it should be Gee's call. I mean, he's the one who got it rolling," Mikey piped up.

I shot my brother a grateful smile. "I'd like that."

"That's it then," Ray said. "So Gerard, just give the word and we'll release it."

I nodded.

"Well that's it then. C'mon babe, let's go home." Frank grabbed my hand and we left together.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Monday, Gerard's POV**

"Gee?"

I opened my eyes to see Frank standing hesitantly by the bedroom door. I had been resting, feeling totally exhausted after this morning. Like I said before, I'm getting so weak now.

"Yeah, babe?" I said, my voice coming out scratchy and weak.

"I um… I needed to know if it'd be alright if I left for a couple days. One of my cousins is getting married, and he asked me to be the best man." Frank stood there, looking uncomfortable. "I'd have to fly to California, so I'd be gone for a week or so."

I felt like the walls were closing in around me. No. Frankie couldn't leave me, not now. Not with me only having a couple days left. But I couldn't say anything. I had promised myself I wouldn't. I had to let him go.

"Wh- when do you leave?"

Frank shifted, eyes downcast. " A few minutes."

I squeezed my eyes shut tight. This was really happening. He was leaving me.

_Let him go, Gerard. It's better if he doesn't see you like that in the hospital. You've got to let go. You can't be here to protect him forever. Free him, free yourself. It's time, Gerard._

I opened my eyes and nodded tiredly. "Go. You have to be there. Just come here and give me a kiss goodbye before you go." As he stepped over to me, he looked concerned.

"Are you sure you're alright? I know I've been asking that a lot, but honestly. I'm worried. Maybe you should see a doctor again."

I shook my head. "I'm just tired, is all. Now you need to get going." Frank hesitated, but leaned down and placed a kiss on my dry, chapped lips. In any other occasion, I would've grabbed him and ravaged him right then. But I couldn't. I was too weak. I kissed him back lightly. A kiss so soft, so small, but still filled with all my love for him. He drew back and smiled softly, touching my cheek with his hand.

"I love you, Gee. I'll see you in a few days." And with that, he was gone. When I heard the slam of the front door, the long held back tears rushed forth, spilling onto my cheeks. The dull throb in my chest heightened. So this is what they call heartbreak.

"Frankie. I love you more than you will ever know. I'm sorry," I sobbed. I lay there weeping until I had no more tears. When I could cry no longer, I lay on my back and whispered, "Goodbye to you, my love."

**Tuesday morning, California time. Frank's POV**

I had arrived in California without a hitch, and I wanted to talk to Gerard. So I dialed his cell. When there was no answer, I called the house phone. When there was still no answer, I began to worry. He should be home. It was only about noon there. What if he was really sick, and I wasn't there for him? I decided to call Mikey. Maybe he could go over to our house and check on Gee. He had one of our spare keys, after all.

Mikey answered on the second ring, and I immediately bombarded him.

"Mikey, it's Frank. You have to go over to our place and check on Gerard. He's been sick lately, and he's not answering his cell or the house phone. I'm in California for a wedding, and I'm worried."

"Calm down, Frank. I'm sure he's fine. If he's sick, he's probably just asleep. But I'll go. I'll call your cell when I get there."

"Okay."

I paced the hotel room until I felt my phone vibrate. I answered immediately.

"Is he okay?" I demanded.

"I just let myself in. I'm on my way to his room."

My heart was pounding. I didn't have a good feeling about this.

"He's not here, but Frank," Mikey's breath caught. "There's a note on the bed."

"What does it say?"

Mikey let out a pained, strangled noise. "It says- oh god, Frank. It says goodbye."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Frank's POV**

I felt my stomach drop. "Read it to me from the beginning."

Mikey took a shaky breath and began reading:

_"To all my boys; Bob, Ray, Mikey, and Frank: I'm sorry. I'm writing this letter to tell you all goodbye. This is the end of the road for me. I apologize if I'm being confusing; let me explain._

_Six months ago, I was diagnosed with stage two small cell lung cancer. That was what was causing my chest pains. No surprise here, the cancer was from my smoking. At that point, I had been having chest pains for a month or so. So by the time I went to the hospital, it was too late to do anything to cure it. They gave me chemo pills to help prolong my life, giving me a little more time with you all. I decided not to tell anyone, because I didn't want your pity. I'd hate your pity. I wanted to live life the same way up until the very end, which I have. I'm sorry if you hate me for keeping it from you, but it was important for me to do so._

_Bob- Man, you are one of the most laid back guys I've ever known, but you can still throw one hell of a party. Thank you so much for drumming for My Chem these past few years. You definitely know how to hit it harder! Take care of Mikey for me when I'm gone, will ya?_

_Ray- I know Frank thinks he can beat you in a guitar playing contest, but honestly? He stands no chance (sorry, babe). You're way too good for him. Keep playing no matter what. You have too much fucking raw talent to ever quit. Watch out for all the boys. You've always been like the older brother to all of us. Love you, man._

_Mikey- You're one of the best baby brothers anyone could ever ask for. You've been with me since you were born, and I can't even tell you how much I'll miss seeing you, with your fluffy hair, glasses, and just overall awkwardness. I love you, Mikey. Good luck with Alicia, little bro. It's time to put a ring on that girl's finger, don't you think?_

_And Frank. My beautiful Frankie. As I write this, I hate myself more and more for not telling you about my condition. I had always promised you that I'd tell you everything, and I broke that promise. I'm so sorry. You remember our rings? They say 'till my dying day' on the inside. Even though my dying day has come way too soon, I will go into the ground with a smile on my face, knowing that at last the last year and a half of my life was wonderful because I had you, as mine to love. I still remember the first time we kissed, and I can still feel your trembling skin against mine. Those are the kinds of things I want you to remember. Happy memories. And Frankie, remember my words in our song 'Famous Last Words'. They're for you: "I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone." Just because I'm going to be gone doesn't mean everything just stops. Never feel that way. Don't grieve for me any longer than you have to. That goes for all of you. I love you so much Frankie that it hurts, and the hardest part of this is leaving you. I want you to think of me often, and think of me fondly. Never regret, and never forget me, love._

_So to all of you, once again, I'm sorry. I love each of you dearly, and I'll miss you all. And, as you've probably figured out by now, I wrote the entire Black Parade album sort of as a goodbye. It's your guys' choice whether or not you still want to release it after I'm gone, but I say you should. It's really a great work of art._

_Well, I'm not going to drag this out any longer than I have to, so I guess it's time for me to leave. I'll be going to the closest hospital to finish my last hours. So that's it then. Come visit me in hell, motherfuckers. I'll need some company. Love you all. Goodbye, goodnight for good._

_-G"_

I let out a strangled cry and sank to the ground. I could still hear Mikey on the other end, for I had the phone pressed tightly to my ear. I could tell he was trying his best to keep calm, so that he could talk to me. I didn't care what he had to say, though. How could I? All I could think was, "Oh my god," over and over again. This couldn't be right. My Gerard couldn't just up and die like this! He was invincible! I had worked myself into such a state, howling with pain that terrorized my heart, that I almost didn't hear Mikey shout my name, getting my attention.

"FRANK! You need to calm down. You need to start thinking clearly-"

"Oh god, Mikey! I'm never going to see him again!" I sobbed.

"Okay shut the fuck up for five seconds and listen to me! He couldn't have left this more than a couple of hours ago. So there's still time. I need you to get the fastest flight you can back here and get your ass straight to the hospital. I'm going right now to find him; to keep him holding on until you get here. I'll call the boys, too."

I took a deep breath to calm myself. I could do this.

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**A/N: Well, here it is. The last chapter of "We're Just Two Men As God Had Made Us". I really hope you've liked this fic ^_^ I may end up doing an epilogue or something, so keep an eye out. Now that this one is over, I'll be updating my other fiction "Keep Running" regularly, and you should really read it :D I love you all, the people who read this. Thank you! -M**

**Gerard's POV**

When I walked into the hospital, carrying nothing with me (I didn't need anything. I was dying, for fuck's sake), all the doctors and nurses seemed to be expecting me. They all nodded to me as I walked past, showing a sort of silent respect. When I found Dr. Lee, he knew exactly why I was there.

"It's time, Doc. I'm done."

Lee only nodded once before leading me to the bed I was to die in. He checked my vitals and hooked me up to an IV to estimate how long I had.

"I'd say it'll be fairly soon. Within ten to twelve hours. I'll be back in to check on you periodically. It shouldn't be too painful when you go, but you'll know when it's about to happen." He patted my shoulder before exiting, leaving me to my last thoughts. I briefly wondered if anyone would find my note before I passed. And then I wondered what Frank was doing, before settling back in the pillows to wait for the cancer to overcome me. I shut my eyes…

"Gerard, there's someone here to see you."

My eyes snapped open to see a nurse standing over me. I glanced at the clock. To my surprise, nearly four hours had passed. Huh. Then I registered what the nurse had said.

"Who?" Damn, my voice sounded weak. This dying shit was weird.

"He says he's your brother. Michael, or something."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Oh god, Mikey. My baby brother. I hated for him to see me like this. But I couldn't exactly turn him away, so I instructed the nurse to let him in.

He looked awful. His eyes were red rimmed where he'd been crying. I guess he'd found my note. When his eyes met mine, he let out a little cry of anguish and rushed over to me, smothering me in a tight hug. He released me after a few seconds and grabbed my hands.

"Mikey," I croaked. It hurt so badly to speak.

"Why didn't you tell us, Gerard? Why?"

I shook my head. "I just couldn't. I'm so sorry."

His face softened. "I found the note. And I called Frank," he said.

Oh god. Frankie.

"He's on his way."

"What? But he's in California. He won't make it…"

Mikey tightened his grip on my hands. "You have to hang on until he gets here. Just six more hours. He needs to see you. It'll kill him if he doesn't make it in time. So you must stay awake. Hang on for Frankie."

I looked at him for a moment before nodding. For Frankie. The next few hours passed excruciatingly slow, with Mikey at my side telling me stories of his girlfriend and stories of when we were younger. At one point, Ray and Bob came in to say their goodbyes, and even Bob got teary eyed. As each hour passed, Mikey would squeeze my hand and say, "Only _ more hours."

It was about an hour before Frank was due to arrive (at my nine hour mark), and I felt myself drifting off. Each time I tried to shut my eyes, Mikey would shake me and whisper, "Wait for Frank. Not much longer now." Fifteen minutes until Frank was going to be here, I begged Mikey to let me sleep. I was exhausted. But he refused, shaking his head firmly. He was such a hard ass.

At my ten hour mark of being in the hospital, Mikey got up to see if Frank was nearly here. Finally. I let my eyes slide shut, relishing in the quiet. Now I could rest…

**Frank's POV**

Seven hours after getting off the phone with Mikey, I landed in New Jersey. I was a mess. I had spent the whole flight with my head in my hands, whimpering pitifully. Needless to say, I'd gotten quite a few odd looks. Not that I could be bothered to care. In the airport, I collected my luggage in record time and hopped into my car, going as fast as the speed limit would allow. The last thing I need was to be pulled over for speeding. Half an hour later, I pulled into the hospital parking lot and rushed inside. I spotted Mikey right away, standing by the front desk. He saw me, too.

"Oh thank god, Frank. He's really bad. They don't think he has more than an hour left."

"Take me to him," I demanded. Mikey led the way down the sterile hospital hallway, and stopped outside one of the rooms.

"This is it. I'll let you go in by yourself. I've already said my goodbyes," Mikey told me, wiping away a tear that escaped his eye. I placed a hand on his arm.

"Thank you, Mikey." He nodded and returned to the waiting room. I took a deep breath and twisted the knob on the door. I stepped inside and saw Gerard. Oh, my beautiful Gee. He was lying on his back, his eyes shut. His chest rose and fell slowly, and the soft beep of his heart monitor sounded. He just looked so broken and defeated. I slid into the chair next to the bed and took his hand. I almost didn't want to wake him, but I needed to talk to him. I knew I couldn't do anything for him, but I was going to get him to hang on for as long as he could.

"Gee," I breathed, shaking his shoulder lightly. "Baby, wake up."

His eyes flickered open, and when they met mine I wanted to cry. The brightness that used to fill those beautiful hazel orbs was gone. I could tell he'd just about given up. But I wasn't going to let him go that easily. No fucking way.

"Frankie," he choked. I could tell it hurt him to speak. "You're supposed to be in California."

"Now why the hell would I be in California when the love of my life is dying?" That drew a small smile from his parched lips. I continued. "But just so you know, I have no intention of letting you leave me. No way in hell. There are too many things we haven't done. I only had a year and a half with you being mine. I need more than that."

Gerard smiled sadly. "Believe me, I don't want to leave you. But there's nothing you, or anyone, can do for me now. You have to let me go, darling."

I took hold of his shoulders. "Now you listen to me. You're still very much alive," I said fiercely, clenching my teeth to hold back the tears.

He just shook his head. "The life has left me, can't you see? You can't do anything! Please," he begged, looking up at me with pleading eyes. "Just accept that. Don't make this harder than it already is. I only have an hour or less, and I want to enjoy it with you, not argue about how I could live."

I dropped my head, the tears dripping onto his white bed sheets. I felt his cold fingers lace through mine.

"Tell me about how we met again."

I smiled softly and began to recount our whole life together, good and bad. I kept watching Gerard carefully to make sure he wasn't giving up on me. After a while, I felt his grip tighten slightly on mine. I could tell he was in pain. This was it. I could feel it. All these years, I never thought I'd see a man die, let alone the one I loved.

His breathing became ragged, and the heart monitor's beeps were irregular. They increased in volume, as if to alert doctors of Gerard's condition.

"Gee, stay with me baby. Stay with me," I whimpered, my heart feeling as if it was being torn to pieces. He shut his eyes and tried to pull me closer. I leaned in to him.

He opened his mouth, gasping for breath, before whispering, "So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye…" He didn't finish the lyric. The heart monitor flatlined. I was having trouble breathing, and I began screaming, unaware of what I was doing. I remember all the doctors swarming into the room, Mikey standing at the door sobbing, and then, nothing.


	18. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Rain fell in torrents as the silent funeral procession was lead underneath a canopy, protecting them from the droplets. Under the canopy was a podium lined with red roses, some dyed black. In front of the podium sat a shining black casket laden in flowers similar to the ones on the podium. A priest stepped up to the podium, scanning the crowd. He had never seen one so large. This man who had died must have been very loved.

The processioners filled the seats, and when those were full they stood near the back. The priest looked at the people in the front row. They were sure a diverse bunch, he noted. There was a man with a curly brown afro, sitting quietly holding tight to a burly blonde man with a lip ring. Next to them sat a younger man of about twenty five or six. He had glasses that he kept shoving up the bridge of his nose. When the priest's eyes slid to the last man in the row, his heart filled with sympathy. The man sat with his head bent forward, his tattooed hands clasped tightly in front of him. He would periodically reach up to angrily wipe away tears. He acted as though he shouldn't be crying.

After everyone was settled, the priest began his speech about life and death. When he had finished, he watched as one by one, the black clad mourners came forward silently and touched the casket, paying their respects. The last person to come up was the tattooed man from the front row. He knelt down to the casket and touched it lovingly, saying something that was inaudible from where the priest stood. As the man stood up, he shoulders hunched in sorrow, he placed something small and silver on top of the casket. He gave it one final look before turning to go. The priest watched as he left the cover of the canopy, stepping into the rain.

After everyone had gone, the priest stepped from the podium and observed that casket. The tattooed man had placed a round, gleaming silver ring on it. He must want it to be buried with the coffer. The priest picked it up carefully so he could give it to the gravedigger to bury. When he picked it up, something caught his eye. There were four tiny words engraved into the inside of the ring: "'Till my dying day."


End file.
